To the One Who Left with No Goodbyes

I never expected things to come this far. Never expected you’d end up things like this.

     I was staring at the deepest horizons of my room, reminiscing the best moments of our lives. Three years ago, First week of November, we first met at a coffee shop where we had a good conversation with a cold cup of frappuccino. We shared different stories about our life. My eyes sparkled and heart beat signifying that it will open its doors again. The time that we had a tender affection with each other, it all then started with a beautiful relationship.

     We broke up that fast because of misunderstanding and loss of maturity. We broke up promising that I’ll finish my studies first and have a good job in the future. That didn’t end up our communication because we know to ourselves that having still communications would help each other’s lives. I came across failed relationships after you, but still, the flame is still there to keep our hearts burning. Whenever I am with you, I become weak, you’re every breath that I take and when you stare at me, my whole world stops revolving and heart stops beating. You are just my sweetest downfall, my no ordinary love.

     I was with you every time you encounter a problem, situations that you needed someone to converse to. I didn’t leave you though we are miles away from each other. I was so overwhelmed when you told me to think of my future and stop my drinking habits, and so I did. Times when you say harsh words towards me, I don't mind it because for me, I love you. You even degrade my whole personality but I don’t mind it, because, I love you. I apologise even I didn’t do anything wrong. Because you know why? Our affection with each other is more important than my ego and pride, because for me, you need more understanding. Things went very, very fast never knew that things do really have limitations. 

     I brought you home because, for me, you are special. I introduced you to my friends because you are worthy and I loved you without regrets because I know you are different. Remember the time when you were here? The only thing that I know is serving you to the best that I can, I cooked though I possess poor-cooking skills. We exchanged conversations regarding present life. It was just pure happiness that I felt from you. Night came, we went out to unwind and just forget the world for a while. Morning, as soon as we wake up, we were sharing stories that happened last night. You even told me that it's one of the best nights ever, whenever we are together.

     Days passed by, we planned that our careers must be stable in able for us to enter the relationship that once happened in our lives. You motivated me to be a more mature individual and yes, I did my part to become worthy. I never get tired of saying I love you and I miss you until the time you told me, “I don’t remember the time that I said that.” I accepted all your degrading and heart crashing words, because for me, I know you have problems. I understood your situations, every bit of your situations. I gave you time to realise your mistakes and just shoot down your ego. Things worsen as days pass by. Arguments that I never answered you back because I don’t want petty things put on a big deal matter. I tried understanding you to the best that I can. I even asked you: “What’s the problem?”

     I got a tightening, cold feelings that binded my heart. I promised that whatever happens, I won’t leave you even if time comes you’re pushing me away, I will still try to understand you. It was just so painful how things went fast, happiness in a very-short span of time. Never knew that the time you came here was also the last kiss, the last hug the sweetest hello and last goodbye. It doesn’t matter how much pain I’m feeling right now, I still can take it. You left me hanging, I still don’t mind it because for me, I love you. You may realise your mistakes or not, I am still here, the one who understands you, the one who cares for you and the one who loves you even you left with no goodbyes.

     When you love, you take risk, when you enter a relationship, getting hurt is included. At the end of the day, you are still responsible for your own happiness. Two things to enjoy life: Never expect and never assume. Span of years together is not that important but rather the experiences and memories that you shared with one another matter the most.

About the Author:

Jeremiah Gabrielle Villanueva a.k.a. Jeremy is a Filipino sociologist. He graduated at the University of Santo Tomas where he obtained his degree in Sociology. He worked as an HR Associate at Convergys where he initiates phone and initial interviews and also responsible for payroll matters. A dreamer, A lawyer in the making, a goal digger and a writer who writes beyond fantasy and thinks farther than reality. An individual who treats lower class, middle class and upper class equally. He do believe in the saying, “To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong (Pearce, 1926)."