To The Man Who Can't Love Me Back

     I never thought I would feel this way about you. It was just an ordinary encounter, one morning, out of my not-so-ordinary-days. I haven't had a vision that this would happen because I knew that I've already gone numb with all the pain which shattered my heart into tiny pieces. My eyes were sick of seeing the same old view and finally got tired of drying the tears which kept on falling that only my bedroom walls have witnessed. I let the hurt fly with the love once I've found when I realized I had enough.

     I spent my days stitching the wounds of my past as I embraced loving myself a lot more. I gave my life another chance to breathe. And then you happened. It wasn't a love at first sight kind of thing. It just came to the moment where I felt changes on how my heart beats every time you've crossed my mind and butterflies would go wild, which is really not a good combination! As what I'm good at, I-G-N-O-R-I-N-G those funny feelings kept me normal, 'cause I plainly have to be normal, firm and alive. Not until the urge to just have a glance of you everyday made me realize that I probably have feelings for you and I couldn't let this budding love take over my actions.

     Your stories made me escape from everything that was bothering me. I've found comfort in your laughter on my struggling hours. And as much as I wanted to meet those brown eyes, I just couldn't because I might end up hurting myself. It was ironic how things unfolded right in front of me and I needed to compose myself. I tell you, it was really like I was struck by lightning when you told me you love her, it felt weird to keep my head high when my hope was burning. I wanted to feel icy cold. And it was even crazy weird how everything got intertwined and I still had to smile.

     I had to keep "me" on track. I didn't want to cause damage on what we've got and I wanted to blame myself for my heart started it all. I had to control my brain not to rely on you anymore because even I never admitted it, the fact that you wouldn't be around one day, gave me a strange feeling of fear and regret...But I was grateful that you taught me how face this, not brave enough to endure the pain though, but still brave to stand and handle things maturely.

Love,

The woman who always keeps a smile on her face

About the Author:

Raquel Rodriguez a.k.a. Destiny studied BSN at Our Lady of Fatima University. She is currently working as an accounting staff at Borland Development Corporation. She’s kind of timid but always wants to explore. She believes that she was made up of sugar, spice and a dash of weirdness. A dream chaser, a volunteer, a pastry chef wannabe and a little bit of this and that. She writes her heart out and shares the moments of her deep thoughts and the aches of her silence.