Petal of Sorrow

     I am in deep sorrow as I stare at the last petal that fell on the ground. That last petal reminds me of her and the many memories that we have shared with each other. I must say that I, still, can’t recover from losing her. My mind is being occupied by questions, which lead to my confusion. I am so confused right now. Yes, I am very confused.

     When shall I begin rebuilding a life that says nothing about you? Where shall I start this quest of healing a heart that still longs for you? How shall I end the feeling of deprivation for my self every time I’m missing you? Where shall I start? And where shall I end?

     These are questions that I need to answer for my own and for my own alone. It is such a melancholy for me to respond to questions that linger within my mind while untangling strange emotions that have remained within my heart. My entire being has been disturbed by her nothingness. Oh yes, too much of her nothingness.

     I need to say goodbye, but still hoping to say hello. I want to forget her death and try to remember her fruitful life as it went. I want to have clarity and yet, all I got is confusion; confusion for my entirety.

     What life shall I look forward to when part of this life has been taken away from me? What future shall I see when my entire vision has been buried six feet under me? What love shall I take when my heart has been taken away from me? What tomorrow shall I seek when my past is still haunting me?

     There are so many realizations that I need to ponder. But right now, the only realization that I’m considering are these two simple thoughts: “It’s easy to say hello, yet so hard to say goodbye”; and, “Happiness can come anytime, but sorrow comes as a surprise”. Yes, these two alone are the only truth that I can think of. These two reflects the entire identity of the last petal, which has been detached from its own body. It is the only petal that reminds me of how my love for you went through. Yes, my love for you gave me joy for myself, but provided sorrow as your presence slowly fades. It’s such a sad feeling for me to know that I was able to love you for a lifetime but, in the end, it turns out that you only came to spend your life with me for such a very short period of time; a very short period of time that, for me, it is already for a lifetime.


About the Author:

Matthew Sanchez Chua a.k.a Artistmat is a registered and licensed Architect, a diploma holder of Urban and Regional Planning, a blogger,  a web-content writer, a poet, a photo manipulator, a freelance digital artist, a volunteer, and a young leader. His articles and poems were published on his main blog "Whisper of my Heart".  He also writes for U! Happy Events as he is one of the organization's board member. He practices his profession through M.S. Chua + C.A. Dominguiano Architects. His principle is simple: "Walk, leave a mark, and make a difference!"